When you first think of divorce as a the only real option left open to you the thought of a prolonged, drawn out process can feel crushing and insurmountable, but it shouldn't. Divorce Answers is full of real world, simple divorce advice and help but the best place to start is with a step by step divorce process overview, to help you understand how the next few months could play out.

As well as the obvious legal divorce issues there are also lots of other things you should prepare yourself for as you come to the end of a marriage, such as:

Your Children

One of, if not THE most important part of the divorce process is to stay very alert to how your children are feeling while also planning
access arrangements, childcare, telling the school, seeing in-laws, birthday and Christmas arrangements.

Money and Property

Who lives where, how will you survive on less income, managing the finances, who gets what in the home, pets etc.

Friends and Family

Don't underestimate how difficult it can be to tell parents/siblings/extended family members and friends, before then maintaining friendships and relationships with in-laws.

Personal Survival

You cannot forget about how you are feeling as it will only come back to hurt you in the end. Find time and space to greive and look to friends, family and councillors to help share the burden.

So what if you feel as if you're on top of all of this stuff and want to learn more about the divorce process and the various stages of divorce itself? Below you'll find our step by step divorce guide but for further reading on each of the divorce stages please check out the links and/or the rest of Divorce Answers...

Step One:

Before you start the divorce process and apply for a divorce petition you must first ensure you can satisfy one or more of the legal reasons for divorce and be living in England or Wales. The main thing is that you can prove that the marriage has irretrievably broken down (see the Reasons for Divorce in Step 3) and that you have been married for one year or more. If you have been married for less time than this you may be able to separate via a Nullity Petition.

After one year of Marriage

Step 2
Either spouse can apply for a divorce petition and this person is known as the petitioner. To do this Form D8 (divorce petition) and Form D8A (statement of arrangements for the children) if applicable, must be sent to the court together with the marriage certificate. The court fee for issuing the divorce is ??150.

Step 3
As previously mentioned to be allowed to apply for a divorce you must prove that to be the marriage has irretrievably broken down by establishing one of the following five facts as proof:

• Adultery of the other spouse
• Unreasonable behaviour by the other spouse
• Desertion by the other spouse after two years
• Separation with consent after two years
• Separation without consent after five years

Step 4
After a few days of the court getting your petition, it will send you Form D9H (notice of issue of petition) confirming the receipt of it and also when this was sent to your spouse, or respondent as they will be known.
If your spouse has a lawyer then these documents will be sent to them, except when the reason is adultery and then a copy must also be sent to their partner in adultery (this person will then be known as the co-respondent)

Step 5
Within 8 days (including the day of receipt) of the petition and statement of arrangements from the court, the respondent (your spouse) must send to the court Form D10 (acknowledgement of service). The respondent must state on the form if he or she intends to defend the petition, if there are any claims for costs are disputed and if there is agreement between the parties regarding the arrangements for the children.

Step 6
If your spouse wants to defend the divorce, within 29 days of the petition and statement of arrangements from the Court, he or she must send to the Court a defence known as an ' Answer'.

Step 7
If you know that your spouse intends to defend the case but does not respond within 29 days, you can apply for directions for trial. The petitioner must complete Form D84 (application for directions for trial) and Form D80 ( affidavit of evidence) which are provided free from a court office.

Step 9
If the divorce is not defended, then a few days after receiving the Form 10 (acknowledgement of service), you can apply to the Court for the decree nisi. In doing so you must provide a sworn affidavit in Form D80 to confirm that the contents of the Form D10 (acknowledgement of service) are correct. In this you must show that your spouse has received the divorce petition and agreed to the divorce and that you have agreed arrangements for the children.

You will also be required to swear the affidavit before an officer of the county court or the Principal Registry or a solicitor and then send this together with the decree nisi to the court.

Step 10
Once the court receives the application for the degree nisi, a Judge will review the paperwork to ensure that it is right. If this is so the court will send both you and your spouse Form D84A (certificate of entitlement to a decree) informing of the time and date the Judge will grant a decree nisi. If there are no children, Form D84B (notice of satisfaction with the arrangements for the children) will also be sent with Form D84A confirming that there are no children.

The court then makes an appointment for the pronouncement, this being about 5 weeks after sending the application for a decree nisi to the court. It is not a requirement that the parties be present when the decree nisi is pronounced and the court will send to the petitioner, respondent and co-respondent Form D29 (decree nisi).

Apply for a Decree Absolute

Step 11
When the decree nisi is granted, 6 weeks and 1 day later you can apply for the final decree called the decree absolute and submit Form D36 ( notice of application for decree nisi to be made absolute) at a cost of ??30. Once this is processed by the court then they will grant tthe decree absolute making the divorce final.